How many times perhaps happened it to us, or have we heard “hurtful and disparaging words“, which hurt deeply, only to see him or her smile on our face and say “it’s just a joke” (?)
These cases not just occur with a partner, but in the family or parents or in the circle of friends happen too. People who “hurt deeply with their words“, they know very well that hurt and then smiling because it is a way of diminishing our self before others or before our own personal ego.
A wound heals, but a hurtful word does not heal, it remains forever in our brain.
Words hurts? Why? People who are responsible for this type of verbal abuse are authoritarian and seek to bring others under their own control. They live on blackmail and verbal manipulation, perhaps to make others feel the way they once felt (many of them have been treated by their parents, siblings or ex-partners), who have become like rabid dogs, wanting to hurt others in the same way.
The psychologist Valeria Sabater says: Words have power, so much that they are capable of causing very deep emotional pain, as if we had received a blow, as if a direct attack split our soul, and fragmented the heart into a thousand pieces.
The way in which we speak to others (full of positive or negative words), what we emit, our complaints, our praises, our expressions of gratitude, our reproaches, affects the perception that others have of us and has the potential to influence our behavior and our state of mind.
Saying hurtful words on a regular basis means disrespecting a partner, family, and friends. Abusive relationships are given by these “hurtful words” that want to emotionally humiliate, are controlling, even in severe cases as motivations for suicide. The abuser’s goal with his hurtful words is to control at any cost. The effects of hurtful words can have an impact on the emotional health of the listener; as well as in the health of the one who pronounces them. This corroborates the fact that those who load their vocabulary with a large number of negative and disparaging words, usually live dragged by pessimism and limiting beliefs.
Words shape our view of things. That is why it is important to use non-aggressive words to describe what we do, or to explain to others what we feel or need, our non-aggressive language does not indicate that we are less strong, but rather that we have our own independent and strong personality. Words are more painful than facts, everything is relative and depends on our emotional structure, that is, on how relevant verbal language is in our lives compared to actions. One way to heal the pain caused by hurtful words is to engage in pleasant and positive activities, with people who do not have mean and aggressive language, take time to do things that make you smile, surround yourself with positive people and less negative or pessimistic or aggressive.
Communicate in a positive way towards others, prevents aggressiveness and develops respect with the personal capacity to face difficult moments. This type of communication should be encouraged and stimulated in children as well.
“Don’t say it’s a joke, your disparaging words” amadriadi
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